First you spend your time obsessing over why he didn’t call you and trying to read every little sign along the way. Then he does call, you go on a few more dates and soon you’re seeing each other. BUT… he still won’t commit to you. Commitment could mean he doesn’t like to use the word “girlfriend” when he refers to you or commitment could mean you are the girlfriend but he doesn’t like to use the word “wife”.
And if you think men are the only one’s avoiding commitment, you’re wrong. Some women are desperately looking for love, but when they meet a man who’s interested, she puts her track shoes on and starts running.
Either way, men and women are doing this to each other everywhere. They just won’t commit and no one can figure out why. They go from dropping hints, graduate to underhanded trickery, blackmail and force, and finally lose all hope and ask the guy outright. Sometimes these methods work and sometimes they don’t. So why won’t we commit?
The Ex Factor
Do they say things like “My ex and I used to do this” or “My ex likes that”? They obviously can’t get over the break up. They like you and likes spending time with you and all that but it’s just that they’re still hung up over their ex. You can either wait for them to get over their ex or just move on and find someone better.
This is a popular one and sometimes its genuine but at others, totally bogus. So they had this significant other who cheated on them, and so they think everyone is promiscuous and therefore are not able to commitment. There’s no real solution here. Sometimes you can change their mind because you’re “different” and they see that and sometimes you just keep hanging on for nothing.
Commitment to a serious relationship is a huge responsibility and when its marriage, even more so. Some people just don’t want the responsibility of being there for another person. It might sound bad but sometimes you’ve got to appreciate the honesty. A little I guess! They’d rather enjoy their current lifestyle than let in someone else just yet.
The Loss Of Freedom
This one’s obvious and many of us have this problem. They like you, heck they probably even love you but when it comes to making a commitment, it’s a tough choice. It’s choosing between you and their freedom. Committing to you would mean giving up their freedom to live life the way they please. Factoring someone else in is not just a responsibility but a loss of freedom as well and they’re not sure you are worth losing their freedom over.
You’re Not The One
Harsh but true. Men and women view longevity in a relationship differently. For some longevity = marriage and for others longevity = longevity. Someone can be with you because they like you and their comfortable but you may not be the one they want to commit to for life. Believe it or not, we all are waiting for “The One” and we’ll know when that person comes into our lives.
It’s hard to figure out what’s going on inside anyone’s head and why they just won’t commit to you. It could be one, some, all or none of these reasons. It’s frustrating, heart-breaking and confusing and honestly, there’s no foolproof solution. Hopefully the person of your dreams will eventually come around to it. If it doesn’t happen soon, don’t cry over it, just move on and enjoy your life.