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Put Your Woman First: Tips Men Can Use In The Bedroom


Put Your Woman First: Tips Men Can Use In The Bedroom

Editor’s Note: It’s always a pleasure to share a guest post with you, especially one written by a man.  This month, our guest relationship writer is Mr. Shannon Dondle.  If you have an opinion that you want to share or a relationship question for Mr. Dondle you can contact the Editor to submit an article or question.

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3 Tips Men Can Use In The Bedroom

I know what you’re saying, “sexual tips? What can he tell me about my woman? I’m the man! She’s always satisfied!” Well, you probably are the man…cough cough…but, hopefully I have some tips that you can add to your bag and put a bigger smile on your woman’s face, which should put a bigger smile on yours. (See how I did that? Lol!)

Alright, let’s get serious for a moment and let me ask a question…or two. How do you know that what you’re doing to your woman, while having sex, is pleasing her? Did your woman feel like you knew what she was wanting when she wanted it? Let’s go a little deeper; what kind of woman is your woman? Is she the type to be pleased, or is she the type of woman to be pleased by you to climax? Interesting questions, right?

Well, let’s cover some tips that might help you answer them faster than you just did next time they are asked.

When you’re with your woman, paying attention to her sexual cues will give you psychic ability, or will at least make you seem psychic. If you have ever watched the show THE MENTALIST then you are seeing exactly what I am talking about on every episode of this show. The main character on the show makes his living helping the police solve crimes by paying attention to every detail about the people he meets and the locations he visits and the details of the crime. “Man, how does this help me get that bigger smile?!? “ I’m getting to that…now, as the show progresses, he gathers this information together and uses it to allow the criminal to almost tell on himself or herself. So, how this ties together is this-you listen you your woman and gather in all the information that you gain from it. Is she moaning, screaming, silent, breathing heavily, breathing shallow, not breathing at all…for this one, you might want to loosen up on her neck. (Yes, a lot of women like to be choked, not hard, most of the time, but just enough to make her feel like she’s not in control and that you are…but more on that at a later date). The point, right now, is listen to her.

The Second thing is to feel her. Now, this sounds basic, but is it really? By the term “feel” I mean that you need to take in every inch of her body that you are in contact with; how it is being touched and most importantly, what reaction it is getting at that moment. If you’re kissing her lips, are you pressed hard; softly kissing; sucking her bottom lip, biting her bottom lip? How is she reacting? Positively? Negatively? (if so, then don’t wait for her to come around and like it, stop doing what you’re doing and move to more positive water…) While you are “kissing”, are you between her legs; are you in contact with her thighs; are you behind her…yes, you can, and should, kiss a woman while standing behind her, or kneeling behind her…I’m just saying; pulling her close to you; holding one of her hands in yours and the other should be wrapped around her resting on her stomach, pulling her into you just enough for her to “feel” all the contacts that are being made right now. While all of this is going on, is she touching you more; are her arms falling freely; are her hands touching you; has she pressed backward into you?(which should give you the clue that she is enjoying what’s going on and you should continue along those lines) Do, you see where I went right there? I noted several of the contacts that where being made and joined them all together with the noted result of understanding whether she is being responsive and, most importantly whether the response is a positive one. With this foundation, let’s move into number three, keeping in mind numbers one and two.

Third, on the list is to watch her…again a simple request, but let’s see if we can dig a little deeper and get some gold out of this one too. When I say watch her, I mean just that “watch her”; look at her body; watch her movements; are her eyes closed; is her mouth open; is she biting or licking her lips…or other things; does her stomach tighten or relax when you touch it; does her back arch just enough for…well, we won’t go into that much deeper, but hopefully you get my point. Watching her reaction to what you are doing tells you a lot about what’s going on in her head, and if you know what’s going on in her head then she doesn’t have to tell you. If she doesn’t have to tell you then that’s one less thing she has to focus on and well, with the reality being that most women think too much during intercourse, the more she can just be in the moment with you the more comfortable she will become and the more relaxed she becomes, the easier it is for her to …arrive.

Now, with that we come back to the “bigger smile” I was talking about earlier. If you work to pay attention to how her body and her mind are responding to your touch; your movements; your sounds; essentially- you…and within this you pay attention to her movements; her sounds; and watch to respond accordingly to her cues, then you are on the right path to increased pleasure and increased sexual communication and a bigger smile for both of you. No need to thank me now, just go enjoy the information I just gave you and remember, use knowledge responsibly.


Most women like for their man talk to a little dirty to them (some like it a lot dirty, so you need to know your woman) but not too much talking, not too little…just enough to keep her going and get her where she’s going. So, talk to her and I don’t mean about the weather. Ask her sexual questions; make sexual comments, control the situation and to an extent control her but always be aware of when she wants control; when she wants to give you control and when she wants you to take control.

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