With over 120 million adults forty-five years and older, baby boomers are reshaping their expectations with the help of Dr. Pepper Schwartz, author of Prime-Adventures: Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years and The Great Sex Weekend. Dr. Schwartz offers tips to help couples out of the doldrums and rekindle that long-term marriage spark for an exciting Valentine’s night.
1. Begin Valentine’s Day with a warm kiss and hug and please don’t forget the flowers,aromatherapy massage candle, chocolates and dinner reservations.
2. When you are making love, communicate. Say what you like, when it’s perfect, when it’s not quite right.
3. If you have a fantasy, share it. Your partner might have it too.
4. Be safe. Condoms are the only way you can prevent transmission of sexually transmitted disease.
5. Focus on each other, take private couple time away from your children on a date, a romantic getaway and dress up to look your best for each other.
6. Men get cuddlier; women are a lot more relaxed about receiving sexual pleasure as they age. Men’s erections become less reliable, less hard and they may need an erectile dysfunction drug, to be able to have intercourse. Women will generally have less lubrication and they may need a long lasting vaginal moisturizer like Replens so intercourse is not painful. Couples need to be honest about their physical limitations to make intercourse easier and more pleasurable.
7. Women have been traumatized about their bodies, so when they are overweight or their breasts are no longer as “perky”, they often retreat from sex because they are embarrassed to be nude or touched. Feeling good about your body is one of the biggest reasons people do or do not continue to have and enjoy sex. Exercise, practice Yoga, Pilates, walk, run, or weight train- you’ll feel physically more confident and comfortable about sexual activity.
8. Sex and orgasms can increase pleasure by using a vibrator, and there’s even one for couples called We-Vibe.
9. Sex is boring if you use the same efficient way to satisfy each other that works every time. Change it up by the place, routine, and toys you use. Be playful. Read a sexy book or watch porn together. Try a blindfold.
10. Quality and quantity time are linked. Spend focused time together- not just the moments late at night or two ships passing in the night. Take a weekend every now and then; at least plan date nights.
“Couples can have a passionate and fulfilling sex life and a sensational Valentine’s night—as long as they work at it, communicate their needs, use whatever medical and other products their bodies needs and don’t file sex away to grow dusty and ultimately, forgotten,” says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, AARP Love and Relationship Ambassador, Online Dating Expert for Perfectmatch.com & Past President, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.