While sitting in the car with a friend recently my friend made a comment about someone that I viewed as offensive. When referring to a passerby she said, “now that’s just too big, don’t you agree?” At first I acted like I didn’t know what she was talking about so she pointed to the man in front of us and said, “HIM.” She continued, “It’s okay for women to be that big but not men.” I was quiet for a second because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My friend is a plus sized woman who has her fair share of body issues yet she felt comfortable enough to talk about another person because he was larger than both of us.
I’ve heard of plus size individuals discriminating against one another but it had never happened in my presence (until that very moment). Once I gathered my thoughts, I replied. I let her know that there was nothing wrong with him and regardless of his size, he was still a person. I continued to remind her of what I do with DailyVenusDiva.com and that this was one of the many issues that we constantly fight against…..discrimination within our own community. I wanted her to be aware that although she was the one dishing out negative comments about someone’s size, she could find herself on the receiving end of those comments one day.
This may be an isolated situation for her but I’m sure my size 18 friend isn’t the only one guilty of dishing out less than encouraging words regarding her plus size sisters and brothers. To bring attention to an issue that isn’t discussed enough in the plus size community I’ve compiled a list of phrases that are used to describe or compare plus size individuals that should be removed from our vocabulary immediately.
- I’m not as big as him/her, am I?
- I’m big too but I have a better shape
- You’re big but you have a cute face
- I know I’m big but I would never get THAT big
- I’m big but he’s/she’s just too big.
This list is intended to make you aware of comments that may be hurtful and not helpful. Feel free to add phrases that you’ve either used or that have been used against you.