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Is There Life After Love?

Love and Intimacy

Is There Life After Love?

By: J.A. Parrish

Okay so I finally did it. I’ve completely let go.  We have broken up so many times that I’ve lost count. So I made up my mind to not go back.  The question is “Is there really life after love?

I decided to take some time out for me and find out this time.  Hell, I’ve got goals, I’ve got ambitions and we all know that no matter how blissfully beautiful a relationship can be, they cost.  They take time. They take effort. That time usually comes from the pursuit of some dream that we have shelved, for whatever reason.

So, now I’m sitting here after work, which used to be the “prime-time” for my ex and I to get to know each other.  Enjoy each others company.  Now what do I do? It’s at this moment that I realized that my ex had completely filled my life. Every hobby, every interest – it all revolved around her. Right then I realized the reason that I’ve stayed in relationship after relationship for the last few years.  Out with the old, in with the new, right? Well it was all just a vain attempt subconsciously, to hide from myself.  Which we all know is just not possible.

By instantly starting a new relationship after ending another I was able to avoid the act of figuring out how to constructively fill the void that ending a relationship leaves in us all.  Instead of saying “Okay, It’s time to get serious about this project that I’ve been putting off for the last 5 years,” I figured just find a suitable replacement
and pick up where I left off.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this formula is simply wrong.   Logically it has no chance of producing anything fulfilling in the long run. This time I’m taking some time to find me.  I’m writing that novel I’ve always dreamed of writing.  I’m blogging and sharing my experiences and learning that others have similar stories to tell.  I’m finding new beginnings in places that I never thought imaginable.

Thomas Szasz, said, “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.  But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.”  Well I’ve found that there is life after love.  If you are willing – no, inspired to create yourself after losing that which has defined you for so long.

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