If you used to read my articles here at Venus Diva, you may have noticed I’ve been gone for quite some time. Well after becoming a new mom, then having to rejoin the workforce, things got hectic. Between work and the baby, health issues of my own and others in the family I just couldn’t do it. Then to top it all off I had computer issues too. But my biggest struggle was dealing with my new curves.
When I started modeling I was a size 24, very comfortable, but then I decided on my own to lose weight for career opportunities and for health concerns. I worked hard and got down to a 16…then surprise…I was pregnant. With pregnancy it’s normal to gain weight. I didn’t worry about it because everyone told me that if you breastfeed it just slides right back off…well after a year I still saw no sliding of anything. So I became frustrated and embarrassed because after all my hard work, great shoots, I could not get the 60-70 lbs I gained off. How could I write about thriving in anything when I was uncomfortable in my 310 lb curves? Folks kept assuring me it’s fine and acceptable because it was due to pregnancy. But I didn’t find it so. If anyone noticed any pictures posted on social networks they were of my daughter minus me. I classified it as a failure. I even stopped putting real effort into my day to day appearance at work. It also didn’t help my way of thinking because some of my industry “friends” faded away. After a few months less folks wrote to see how I was or the baby. Fewer calls, texts, tweets and wall postings. I felt it was because I wasn’t being Super Mom, doing shoots with a newborn attached to my hips.
What got me to change my thinking were my little girl and remembering why I started modeling in the first place. I wanted/want everyone to love who they are no matter what size they are. I want to help women realize they make the curves the curves don’t make them, because if you’re not comfortable at a size 22 you won’t be at 2. We’ve seen it on countless reality shows, chic looses tons of weight and still finds flaws as if the weight was going to free her of any negative self image flaws…it doesn’t you just tend to find more. You have to see beyond the scale, past the mirror image and get to the root of what makes you, you.
So I write this to let you know the struggle is real for everyone but you can overcome it. Thanks to my new work schedule it’s allowing me to have the time to work out but now I’m doing it to help lower my blood pressure. As of recent I’ve been having slightly elevated pressure readings. So I’m back to thriving in my new old curves with the love of someone who only sees mommy not the size. I’m back to putting in the effort because it’s me, I love being Diva and looking the part…so here’s to us thriving in all our curves; old and new!