With “The T.O. Show” third season recently premiering, It got me to thinking about the friendship between Terrell Owens and his two best friends—Kita Williams and Monique Jackson—who are involved in EVERY aspect of his life—including his love life. Their relationship inspired me to write this post…
I try not to be “that” friend. You know the judgmental tell-you-what-to-do-with-your-life-because-I’m-coaching-from-the-sidelines type of friend. I try not to be the friend that you love, but avoid sharing anything with, because you feel that you’ll spend more time justifying your decisions, rather than being facilitated a space to vent and release.
While I firmly believe that real friends are the people that both support you and challenge you to be your best, I also don’t think that friends are the people that you should be seeking penance from either when you make a relationship decision.
“Why is she with him?”—we’ve all said this to ourselves in regards to a friend’s significant other. And while I’m not the friend whispering in my girl’s ear, “Girl I don’t know about him,” every 5 minutes, I do want to be the friend that is honest enough to ask my friend, “Are you REALLY happy in this situation.” Like many, I often times find myself torn—because I’m personally disturbed by a relationship decision a friend has made—to voice or not to voice my opinion. But, I always question: Does my opinion of someone being unworthy or not the right partner for my friend have any strong influence?
Ultimately the people accountable to any relationship are the people actually in it. Yes as a friend, you want the best for your loved one, but you have to remember that like you, there are certain things—not of the harmful/abusive persuasion—that need to be experienced for growth.
Re-published with Permission