Hurting people hurt people. This is a statement that I constantly remind myself of that frees me from being bound by anger or resentment toward people that may have disappointed me, done wrong by me, or seem to be out to see me fall or fail. Know that when someone hurts you, it’s not about you at all…and even if they aren’t acting the way that they do because of some deeper issues that they are dealing with, it’s still not about you.
We may have grown up in a situation that was not so comfortable. Perhaps we had a parent or family member that was physically, mentally or verbally abusive. Perhaps we felt that we didn’t have the support system that we needed to succeed. Whatever the case may be, have you noticed that you are often drawn to people and situations that are very similar to the ones that you have experienced even if they were not positive.
Many of our behaviors are cycles or patterns that have been formed even before our parents and our grandparents were born. They seem to be embedded in our existence. When they are positive traits such as entrepreneurship, and traditions based on making sure that families stay strong and healthy, then they are cycles and patterns that you want to hold on to.
When they are negative patterns such as abuse, a poverty mentality, or divorce…you may want to invest some time and effort into developing the strength and skills that you need to be able to break those cycles and not only improve the quality of your life, but set up an amazing future for your children, nieces, nephews and everyone else who comes after you.
Here are some things that I’ve done to break cycles and patterns that I’ve found myself caught up in, not only from my family, but also from relationships that I’ve forged over the years. Feel free to use my methods and strategies, but I also encourage you to come up with a few of your own that you know will work for you…
Heath: Instead of continuing unhealthy diets and means of losing weight, I decided to commit to a lifestyle change. This means small manageable changes in diet (eating), exercise and behaviors that lead to long term success. When I decided to make this change, I did TONS of research and realized that a lot of our unhealthy habits come from lack of knowledge. So, I encourage you to do your research online, in health and fitness magazines and books, and by paying attention to how your body responds to everything that you try. Now I am at a point where I know exactly what I need to do if I want to lose weight. I know what my body needs when it is not functioning at 100 percent of its capacity, and I have a regular plan that I follow to maintain optimal health.
Wealth: This year, with the help of financial experts and consultants, and friends who have it all figured out, I’ve managed to continually improve my financial situation. This includes improving my credit, saving more, investing wisely, paying more attention to my spending, and ultimately diminishing the poverty mentality that I’d carried around with me for the majority of my life. For me, this change all came down to knowing my strengths and my areas where I needed improvement and then creating a plan based upon that. I have never been a numbers or money person, so I’ve always kind of shied away from that. So in this case I HAD to reach out to people that were strong in those areas for help. I am strong when it comes to learning, so once I was given the tools for what I needed to do to improve my situation, I hit the ground running and saw immediate results.
This week I challenge to identify one unhealthy behavior, cycle, or pattern that is holding you back, and take three steps toward improving that situation.
Just because dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships or behaviors may be all that you’ve known or been used to, it doesn’t mean that you have to continue to be a part of those relationships or exhibit those behaviors. You CAN break the cycle. You have a choice and you have the strength. The first step is awareness. Take inventory of your life, your behaviors and your patterns. The life that you truly want is within your reach. Everything that you need to begin the change is already inside of you.