Whoever said that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” lied. Words hurt sometimes more than a blow to the face. Even though we are starting to see more plus sized women in commercials, movies and in magazines, we still have a history of abusive words and stereotypes haunting some or just waiting to attack us at the drop of a dime. Some adjectives such as chunky, fat, ugly, sloppy, smelly or lazy have been used to describe us to insults like; “you ain’t nothing but a potato chip, fried chicken, chocolate chip eating, Pepsi drinking slob that will never get a man nor deserve one.”
Really you ask? Yes really; get someone upset and you will see that the first thing that they say to you is something like “You’re FAT!” My response to that is “And?” Is that supposed to break me down and get me in a corner with a bucket of ice cream crying the blues because you think you insulted me? Yes I am fat but certainly not the “FAT” that you relate to negative feelings about one’s body or personality. I am fat based solely on the definition of the word; ample, broad and flabby in some areas…”AND”?
There are still many out there that believe that plus sized women do not deserve to be loved, appreciated, celebrated or even embraced. People who think we are emotional eaters, needy, unhappy or have mood swings without a cause and continue to post their thoughts in blogs and on social networking sites. These people need a reality check! The days of bullying the “fat” woman are over.
We are no longer going to allow senseless words to cripple us because we know who we are and what we are not and one thing for sure is that we are not women that don’t count and we are beautiful.
I am only exposing the power of words. A wise person knows when to speak and when to hold back because once insults are put out there, you can’t take them back. Too bad there are those who don’t think before they speak so we as plus sized women have to make sure we are armed and ready for the verbal battle whenever it comes or tries to sneak into our lives to harm us.
There are 4 important weapons to being armed:
- First address the issue of low self-esteem – What is it that you are struggling with about yourself to accept? Begin by writing down things about yourself that you are not happy with that can be changed and take the necessary steps to change it.
- Accept the things you cannot change and learn to embrace them – Look for ways to accentuate or celebrate unique things about yourself, make it your trademark. Remember we are not cut out dolls created to look and be the same and there is someone out there who wishes they had what you have.
- Really learn to love yourself, perceived flaws and all and know that there is no one in this world like you – This includes spending time alone and enjoying your own company from time to time. Sometimes we become stressed out because we are not tuning into ourselves and our own needs. Everybody needs a mental health day to rest, reflect and pamper oneself from time to time; this does wonders for boosting your self-esteem.
- Develop a Sense of Humor – One thing to remember is that you can’t change another person but you can change yourself. Learning to laugh at your “flaws” can help you to grow as a person by realizing that only you can allow others’ words and attitudes get you down. Try to not put so much emphasis on what others’ think and say and watch how much self-acceptance you will gain.
There are many full figured women who are totally confident with their bodies but as women, many of us are often interested in ways to looking and feeling better which is why the beauty and fashion industry will never go out of business. As a marketing tool, we are sometimes made to feel inadequate with what we already have or have going for ourselves but we have to get to the point where we are first comfortable in our own skin and have true self confidence and as we know, this is more than just “loving the skin you are in”. Let’s look within ourselves and reflect on the power that maybe some of these words and attitudes have had or still have in our lives today in order to move forward and be the best you that you can be. Don’t allow words to have power over you and don’t let anyone get you down or feed you these lies because you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” God Bless!