Although we are not blind to the shadiness of some people, we tend to turn the other cheek when it comes to men we’re interested in. Even if you’re not guilty of this self-inflicting crime, you probably know someone who has tried to change a guy into who she thinks he has the potential to be.
Professional matchmaker, Marla Martenson has this advice to offer:
Forget it, ladies! Find a man who already has the qualities you are looking for. Don’t think that with your encouragement or advice that he will change into what you want him to be. So many women are so eager to fall in love and get married that they give a guy credit for qualities that he doesn’t have and won’t ever develop. Don’t fall for a guy until you know all that you need to about him. You want a man with good character and the qualities that are important to you now, not possibly someday.
Don’t commit or marry a guy if:
He is jealous and it has been an issue in his past relationships.
He abuses drugs or alcohol. An addict will always give priority to his addiction. You cannot save him or change that; the desire to change has to come from within him.
He is gay and you think that you can change him.
He tries to isolate you and makes you give up your friends and activities that you enjoy.
He makes fun of you or tells you that you are stupid.