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Dear Olga, My Man Is Out Of Control

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Dear Olga, My Man Is Out Of Control

Dear Olga,

I’m tired all the time from working two jobs, because my boy-friend got fired from his job and we needed his income. This was a year ago and he hasn’t tried looking for a job. I beg him to get a job and our talks turn into bad fights.  I get home beat and the house is messy. His friends come over to play video games and they eat and drink, everything. He is 28 by the way and I am 25. Why is he still playing video games all day long?

I love him but I am not his mother or his maid. I get panic attacks when it’s time to put the key and open my door.   He has let himself go, gained weight, and don’t even shave. I am at a lost. He is making my real cute apartment look like a half way house. My family has told me to put him out but I know he has no place to go and I do love him.  Any suggestions or ideas please Olga, throw them my way. Thanks girl.

Annita

North Arlington, NJ

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Dear Annita,

Girl you are amazing. So proud of you working two jobs to make your bills and live a comfortable life. Not cool how your man is acting, I will be straight up with this. I know you love him and it shows by how you are taking care of him during his hard times.

Baby girl, sometimes love is not enough. I am not saying to rip him out of your life but you have tried communication and it has not worked. It sounds to me like he may be suffering from a ‘depression’ since he lost his job. The fact that he is home all day, making a mess and not even keeping up his personal hygiene that is not good. He may need outside help. Perhaps you can reach out to someone in his family to help you with this.

Not sure if you have given him an ultimatum but that time has arrived. Sit next to him get a calendar and mark a date down where all of his video games, mess creating and not helping around days are over.

Offer to fix up his resume and start emailing his resume to companies. Create a certain day for his friends to come over and play video games that is approved by you. They just can’t come and go as they please.

If you see no change then put him out. You cannot live in a dirty home, and you shouldn’t have to work two jobs to take care of a grown man.

Keep me updated on this girl and I am from New Jersey too. I might have to pay you a visit and have a serious talk with his guy. LOL.

Olga

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