We’ve all heard the phrase “love is blind” but a new study says that so is the jealous person.
If you’re jealous, you’re well-familiar with this scenario…
You and your partner are enjoying a nice dinner out (even though you’re watching the room for where the attractive people are) and it happens.
Instead of looking at you, your partner looks in the direction of an attractive man or woman–and you get thrown into a tail-spin. Even though the dinner might have been good up until that moment–your partner’s looking or flirting is all you can think of.
Your fearful thoughts are all-consuming and you end up fighting and ruining a perfectly enjoyable evening.
If you’ve felt this way, you aren’t alone.
In fact, some new jealousy research suggests that jealous women who are already suspicious are blinded by their intense emotions when their partner checks out other women.
In other words, when a woman’s jealous emotions (men weren’t tested in this study) are heightened, they see little else than what frightens them and what they fear.
Researcher Steven Most says…
“When an emotional stimulus appears, it draws attention to itself – and thus draws attention away from other things that come immediately afterwards. When attention is preoccupied in such a way, we tend to miss the thing that appears right in front of our eyes.”
If you have heightened anxiety, your emotions can actually create “tunnel vision” and you see little else than what you fear.
Does that mean your suspicions whenever your partner looks are all in your head?
Of course not–but your emotions and predisposition to jealousy make it worse.
If you want to get control of your jealousy and actually SEE what’s happening without your emotions clouding your vision, start doing some things to calm your anxiety.
Here are a few…
We can’t say it strongly enough–breathe and keep breathing no matter what.
When jealous emotions hit, pull your energy into your center (below your belly button), breathe, and then send your fear into the ground.
3. Change your story
Change your thoughts to ones that are true and more positive in nature about your partner. Instead of constantly worrying about your partner leaving you for someone else, think of what’s going right in your relationship.
If you calm yourself down, you’ll be able to really see what’s there and if you have anything to worry about–without looking through the lens of jealousy.
About the Author:
Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship coaches, soulmates, spiritual and life partners, who are committed to helping people like you improve your life and your relationships. Visit their website, www.susieandotto.com